As You Like It is like an old familiar friend at this point, but there was one scene that struck me more strongly this time around:
Rosalind: "I fear you have sold your own lands to see other men's; then, to have seen much and to have nothing, is to have rich eyes and poor hands."
Jacques: "Yes, I have gained my experience."
Yes, I have gained my experience. I have rich eyes (in art!), and hands that are still searching for employment...but I wouldn't trade it. My mind has opened way up. There are a thousand things to talk and think about, to write and do and see and respond to. Even when it's slow-paced or stressful, life can't help but be full and rich and overwhelming.
I recently found an old document on my computer that contained life and travel goals, big and small. I had made it two years ago, after treatment. As I read through it I realized that I am actually living out a ton of my goals and dreams. I am living in London. I am travelling to all of these places that I hadn't even remembered putting on the list. I am well. Even checking off some of the little things, like "have a Pierre Herme macaron," feels like victory. I had the very kind I'd first heard of the last time I was in Paris.
Are there still gaps? Plenty! But for the moment, I want to celebrate and hold on to this positive perspective. And savor how ridiculously wonderful it is to be here, at this point. It's so easy to wallow and get stressed out by what's missing from our lives, or what's going wrong - take a second to think about what's going right, no matter how small. Or, next best thing: have a macaron.